- love yourself like kanye loves himself
- believe in yourself like kanye believes in himself
- know you’re the shit like kanye knows he’s the shit
This is actually really great because Kanye West has fought depression and suicide this sort of confidence worked for him and wow Kanye West. Anyone who is depressed, believe you are the Kanye Best.
And if it’s hard to feel good about yourself, that’s okay too.
i think maybe it’s something we share, us immigrants, us children of immigrants, those of us thrown into diaspora, scattered across countries and continents with names we still struggle to pronounce, further from the heartland than our parents ever dreamed we’d end up. we spend so much time in airports, picking people up, dropping people off. there is always someone leaving, someone coming back, and it exhausts me- this perpetual meeting and parting of ways. we miss the births of nieces and nephews, we miss funerals, we are condemned to celebrate and mourn without each other. when ladan was born we slaughtered a goat and shared it with strangers. i saw farah when she was two years old, and again at her wedding. we cry when our mamas leave, when we leave them, our time together is measured piecemeal, it is always too short, it is never enough, we milk these precious moments for all that they’re worth. we stand in lines at airports, bear suitcases that hold gifts as offerings, it’s a condolence, always an apology. you say i’m sorry i was gone for so long. always someone, maybe your niece who is four tugging on the hem of your coat asking when you’ll be back again. soon you tell her, you kiss her on the forehead and you know soon is never soon enough. you hug your aunt and tell her you love her. on the plane you watch the city and all those you love grow smaller, distance blooms wide and unforgiving in your mouth. both here and there, neither here nor there, call it the immigrant’s burden, this weight, this persistent longing we carry on our backs. always someone asking you to stay, i can’t, you say, every single time.
Baby Boy: The Sociocultural Effects of Prolonged Male Adolescence
Check on It: The Gendered Dynamics of Male Spectatorship in Urban Public Spaces
Crazy in Love: The Diagnosis and Treatment of “Female Hysteria” During the Late Nineteenth Century
Naughty Girl: Disidentification and the Performance of Female Sexual Promiscuity
Cater 2 U: Female Subservience and the Reinforcement of Hegemonic Gendered Power Structures
Get Me Bodied: A Radical Critique of the Sex/Gender Binary
Freakum Dress: The Role of Consumerism in the Construction and Assertion of Female Sexuality
Videophone: Social Networking Technology and the Deconstruction of the Dominant Gaze
Run the World (Girls): Historical Perspectives on Global Female Leadership
Bills Bills Bills: The Dual-Income Model and the Reshaping of the Domestic Sphere
Soldier: The Hypermasculinization of U.S. Military Culture
Independent Women: Girl I Didn’t Know You Could Get Down (to Business in the Public Sphere and Still Be Expected to Perform Domestic Labor During the “Second Shift”) Like That
And while we’re on the subject…
This whole thing with automatically jumping to assumptions about someone reblogging something that was made/wrote by someone who did/wrote gross shit in the past has got to stop.
This is a fucking huge website with a lot of people using it, and a lot of them don’t keep up with particular users and what they do and say. It’s fine to point something out to them if you feel it’s necessary, and it’s also fine to have boundaries for yourself and say you won’t follow anyone who reblogs from a gross, abusive blogger you want to stay far away from (like I have to now).
But people leaping down people’s throats for reblogging something someone wrote/drew/whatever, immediately assuming people are okay with the problematic shit the person did in the past that they probably didn’t even know about is just being an asshole and purposely looking for an excuse to cause drama and fighting.
I saw this one blog telling people to back off when they were jumped on for reblogging a person they didn’t know did problematic shit in the past (namely blackface). Apparently, they didn’t know about the blackface and reblogged something else from them (that was not blackface), and then the people running that blog were accused of reblogging and promoting blackface.And then people said that their understandable and fair enough “we’re sorry for that, but can you please back off of our blog? we didn’t know.” reaction was a “fauxpology” and “passive-aggressive.”
Do you fucking dipshits even know what “passive-aggressive” is anymore? What the hell are you doing?
A lot of people on this site need to get a fucking grip on themselves. You’re fucking arrogant, egotistical bullies who don’t even know what the fuck they’re saying anymore.
This extensive Buzzfeed article investigates the troubling story of Leo Jiang, a man who has spent years and tens of thousands of dollars on cosmetic surgeries designed to mask his “ethnic” Chinese features. While the phenomenon of plastic surgery is an increasingly common one, Jiang’s deliberate attempts at “de-racialization” and obvious psychological issues confound the conversation on beauty, race, and the choice to go under the knife.
Jiang explains his reasoning for undergoing such extensive facial reconstruction, and his childhood trauma being teased as a Chinese “other” growing up in the UK:
“I believed that my ugliness was in part due to my ethnic features. My father thinks I’m ridiculous for building a complex system of beliefs based on that shallow stimulus. He says, ‘You’ve gone and done this, so you must be very proud of it, but initially it was some stupid kids opening their mouths to you.’”
But Jiang’s attempts to “Westernize” his own features cannot speak for the decisions of many South Korean men and women to opt for the colloquially-termed “double eyelid surgery,” which some have called an overt reflection of the East’s fetishization of Western beauty standards. Such a reading may be a simplistic imposition of our own Western understanding of race and beauty into a very different societal context. NYU’s Sharon Lee explains:
“Race does not enter the consciousness [in Asia] in the same way it does here. It’s easy to pathologize a whole country of people. This notion that Korean women want to become white becomes a really easy answer. That’s not to say that race isn’t important, but when we stop there we’re overlooking much larger structural and historical phenomenons. No Korean woman says, ‘I want to look white.’”
Jiang’s provocative journey and its implications for the larger conversation on cosmetic surgery’s increased ubiquity is explored further here.
This poster’s comment on the Buzzfeed article sums up everything I want to say on the issue, forever:
Victoria Le - Brown University:
What a repugnant article, soaking in unquestioned bias, condescension, and racial privilege.
While it was very nice of you to even include opinions from the defenders of these procedures, it’s clear that you’re completely uninterested in weighing the merits of their arguments or even extending to them real compassion or more than the vaguest and most pitying curiosity for their rationale.
You quote Jiang saying that “Whatever I do, I can’t become white,” yet you still feel comfortable diagnosing him with the need to “pass” and to “become this new [implied: whiter] person.” I’m not saying that racial insecurity has nothing to do with certain Asians’ decision to tuck their eyelids or reshape their noses, but you seem unwilling to entertain any other possibilities. Like here: “Protestations of doctors like Cheung aside, the procedure’s history belies its original intended purpose.” A) That sentence is stupid. No crap the procedure’s history belies its original purpose - its original purpose is its history. B) People do things for all sorts of reasons that can have nothing to do with their original intended purposes: get tattoos, keep kosher, wear blue jeans.
And it’s one thing to have a firm opinion about an issue, another to let your biases interfere with your sense of journalism. You describe the risks of blepharoplasty and jaw-narrowing surgery without explicitly acknowledging that non-racialized cosmetic procedures pose the same risks.
It’s especially sad because there’s so much about this issue you could have discussed in greater depth: the generational gap between proponents and opponents of surgical enhancement, the effect of globalization on various cultures, the changing cultural landscape of major Asian cities, how class influences people’s decisions about their bodies and appearance, how traditional Western and Eastern ideals of beauty intersect to create the kinds of body modification you see in Asian countries, etc.
Instead we get:
“Bei was undergoing jaw narrowing surgery - a slightly, but only slightly, nuanced version of taking an angle grinder to your lower jawbone” - I love that sneering “only slightly,” as if something like a facelift (remove and reattach your face!) isn’t a similarly intense procedure. Or as if grinding down the jawbone isn’t also done as a part of non-cosmetic surgery.
“I ask if [Jiang’s] lost the perspective that this is a medical procedure, and things can go wrong. Again, it doesn’t seem to properly sink in” - Again, I love the condescension.
“She was white and had dyed-blonde hair - her own, decidedly less invasive attempt at physical reinvention” - When white people change their appearance, it’s fine and not at all symptomatic of a deeper racial sickness.
“After we part, he’ll walk to a private dance class for which he’s paying $80 an hour…. A few weeks later he’ll wake at 5 a.m. for voice and drama lessons to learn how to act confidently in social situations” - How bizarre and snidely insinuating. It’s true that there is a specifically Asian market for lessons in confidence, but you might as well mention how Western stereotypes and pressure to conform feed that market.
“where two pretty parents are surrounded by ugly kids” - Yes, “pretty” and “ugly.” Not the more journalistic “who have undergone cosmetic surgery” or “who have not undergone cosmetic surgery.” I get that the ad itself is invoking a social bias, but could you try not to use language that perpetuates the kinds of attitudes that drive people to seek out cosmetic surgery in the first place?
“It’s all a way to muddle the real emotion behind the actions - 16 years ago some dumb people made some dumb comments and it’s still dominating his life” - Spoken like someone who’s never been the victim of persistent and culturally encompassing racial prejudice (yes, yes, you’re only agreeing with Jiang’s father, but you have even less of a basis to infer anything about Jiang’s psychology).
I’m Asian. I haven’t had any of these procedures done, but my mom has (an eyelid tuck), and as far as I can tell, she’s happy with her surgery and content with herself in general. If there was a racial component to her decision, she never mentioned it.
But racial prejudice is more than just a few isolated incidents. It’s not just that a kid in school can call you a chink or a gook or make squinty eyes to mock you. It’s that there are almost no Asian actors or actresses in Western-made film or TV; it’s that the Asian (more likely half-Asian) performers who do appear tend to conform to Western beauty standards; it’s that stereotypes about Asian impotence and submissiveness are tied to height, penis size, and jaw strength; it’s that eye makeup is designed for Western features; it’s that you can get passed over for jobs or relationships because of your appearance; it’s that people look at the before and after pictures for these surgeries and think the “after” picture is the beautiful one.
When will we finally get sick of hearing white people like the author of this article ridicule racial pathologies among people of color - pathologies which white people helped to create, or at least benefit from without question? If you really cared about Asian self-esteem, you’d worry more about what Western culture is doing to help or hurt Asians, instead of just blaming the victim.
You don’t give a shit about us. You really don’t. You pretend to feel sorry for us. And then you turn your back and casually affirm yourself as the more ~beautiful~ one, among backhanded comments about preserving our natural beauty.
You don’t really give a shit about dismantling harmful beauty structures. You don’t give a shit about our sufferings or the shit that you did to us. You don’t give a shit about our skin, our eyes, our jaw, our cheekbones, our hair and our bodies.
You just want to feel good.
when will these people get bored with harping on the subject that “omg all Asian people wanna do is look white” as though there weren’t other cultural factors at play? how many of these bullshit “journalists” have published articles like these in the last couple of months, and how many of them said something OTHER than the same five bullshit points? NONE!
they can all go fuck themselves I am so fucking sick of hearing “you just want to be white”
if I just wanted to be white I’d wear salmon polos and eat bland food
For those of us who occupy the spaces between identities — because of our personalities or because we have a foot in more than one subgroup — finding representation anywhere, in any form of media, can be extremely rare. It can be tempting to hand a person a book and say, “This is where you fit in,” but in many, many cases, that won’t be true. It may end up alienating the person more than making them feel welcome.
this is some spot-on commentary.
my high school English teacher who was also Asian American herself gave me a copy of Woman Warrior to read. while I liked what I read and if I had to pick right now I’d pick Maxine Hong Kingston over Amy Tan, what’s frustrating was that in high school I felt like these were my only two options in terms of being represented as a Chinese American in Literature with a capital L. I read other books like Snow Flower and the Secret Fan (which, despite some pretty terrible purple prose and holy shit orientalist stereotypes, I enjoyed because of the relationship between these two girls who loved each other so much) and Memoirs of a Geisha (wow barf). this was super frustrating.
a little later into my high school career though our local library hired two really awesome, socially aware librarians who kickstarted the “teen” section and made sure to include a lot of really diverse novels and graphic novels and even a lot of manga. it was there I was introduced to folks like Gene Yang and a poetry anthology called Yellow Gurl where all the writers were Asian American teens which was super cool. also Street Magic by Tamora Pierce, which was the first time I had ever seen an Asian character in a high fantasy setting who was a badass and a mage. I saw myself more in those characters than I ever did in anything else I’d read up until then.
granted, I also read all of these books with a divided attitude because I was also somewhat resentful, like, “wow you’re only recommending me this because I’m Asian”, which is an attitude I’m still struggling to unlearn. it depends on the day, but sometimes when people ask “oh have you read this it has an Asian main character” half the time I’m like oh cool! I have to check that out!!! but sometimes I get ornery like…why are you expecting me to be some kind of authority on Asian American identity when I just want to draw my comics and I don’t speak for anyone but myself?
I think the only way to combat this box that we all get stuffed into because of x y and z is to keep making art to not necessarily INTENTIONALLY break all of the stereotypes but to let as many people’s voices be heard in whatever way they want to be.
(TW: racism, homophobia.)
Nothing is the same without you. You should be here telling us jokes and planning our next camping trip. We should be celebrating your 15th birthday but instead we are grieving your death. The only way we can survive your tragic loss is to hold on to our love for you.
Your pride in all things American and compassion for the less fortunate would have helped you fulfill your dream of becoming a National Guardsman. Your polite manners and your kindness illustrated the values your parents instilled in you. You should never been mistreated because of your Vietnamese heritage or because you were gay. You were absolutely perfect the way God made you.
After the investigation, we understand the truth and why you felt you had to leave this Earth. We need to bring you JUSTICE and peace by eliminating the hate that you suffered at school by both kids and adults. We are fighting so that other bullied kids get help at school instead of being victimized by those who have a duty to protect them. You deserved better and not a minute goes by without us thinking of you. We miss your handsome face and the joy you brought to our lives.
Don and your family
R.I.P. David Phan
May 19, 1998-November 29, 2012
David Phan would have turned 15 yesterday. He took his life in November after being bullied mercilessly for being Vietnamese American and for being gay. Read the full memorial post at Hyphen Magazine.
“They call you my Waterloo.”
Watson startles, nearly dropping her coffee; Moriarty only gives her an amused smirk. She has on a beanie, and it is…pedestrian, casual, unlike the cool and collected Moriarty that has toyed with her and Sherlock for weeks, and Watson takes a few moments to reconcile this image with the other. (x)
How do I even begin to explain Joan Watson?
Joan Watson is flawless
She has two beehives and a pet tortoise
I hear her hair is insured for $10,000
I hear she performs illicit autopsies…in a closed morgue
One time, she saved Sherlock Holmes’ life and he named a species of bee after her
One time, she yelled at me in front of a client…
…it was awesome
today i ended up on tv again to talk about the special adoption law. on the one hand, i am glad to see that adoptees voices are finally being given a platform and as an adoptee who speaks korean i feel a sense of obligation? responsibility? to raise our voices so i continue to go out in the public eye. but on the other hand, i wish it was no longer necessary for me to go out and debate about the special adoption law anymore!! i wish people would stop making the special adoption law the center of the debate and instead turn their attention to the family registration system. let’s stop fighting idiotically about the special adoption law and start worrying about the bigger problem, the family registration law and the protection of privacy for both mothers who choose adoption AND mothers who choose to raise their kids (and all other citizens for that matter)!!
Gavin De Becker (via dandyions)
I have noticed every time, EVERY TIME, I state a strong opinion about something on Facebook - a bunch of men will come forward to try to talk me out of it or convince me of something else. Every time. Only the men do this.
Some men really don’t like to be disagreed with by women. And when it comes to consent in sex-positivism, it is a tool for negotiation.
See also, when a woman states that she is strongly opposed to MRA (or, you know, insert whatever ideology or viewpoint) because it is anti-woman, and men try to negotiate her boundaries with her.
Oh my god THIS. Recently I made a Facebook status telling rape apologist MRAs to unfriend me, two cis men privately messaged me, after I unfriended them no less, to try to convince me I was wrong.
99% of men are just disgusting, and it makes me sad and angry.
Wow I’ve never really heard it put this way before but it’s so fucking true.