bad girls do it well Cristy, 23, New York City. Hong Kong-Chinese American womanist. Cis girl, she/her/hers.
This blog is a collection of the personal, the pretty, and the sociopolitical.
Trigger warning for rape/sexual assault, trans/misogyny, racism, and anti-Blackness.
You can message me via my ask box.


Photos: Survivors of North Carolina’s Eugenics Program
Photographs by Andy McMillan / Text by Maya Dusenbery

Between 1929 and 1974, North Carolina sterilized more than 7,500 of its residents. Most were operated on without their consent, having been deemed “feebleminded” and unfit to reproduce by the state Eugenics Board. Eighty-five percent were women; about 40 percent were black or Native American. As many as 2,000 victims are thought to still be alive.  [Read more.]

See also Medical Apartheid: The Dark History of Medical Experimentation on Black Americans from Colonial Times to the Present by Harriet Washington.

(via caprediem)


food should be free. water should be free. housing should be free. power, fuel, electricity should be free. basic necessities should be free.

the idea of “people should have to work for a living” carries the implication that some people deserve to die

(via cosmicqt)



Is funny when doctors and other peeps act like my problem is that I’m obsessed w/ my disability. Um no. You have it backwards. The problem is I HAVE to be cuz it is a constant problem.

I’m deaf. About 25 years ago, I was working for a little while as a classroom aide at a program that worked with deaf children with multiple disabilities. All the teachers and other classroom aides were hearing, but they all could sign.  Not at native signing level, but enough to carry on a basic conversation.

So, one evening, all us adults bring all the kids to a special one-night camping trip. All the kids are put to sleep, which frees up the adults to get into a circle and have some fun to ourselves for a while. People start talking, except they were forgetting to sign.  So I reminded them to please sign so I could understand them.  One of them told me that, no, they weren’t going to sign because this was our night to have fun and not have to think about communication.

So no one signed all night. They talked, they laughed, they had fun. I sat, feeling lost and cut off and betrayed. I remember wishing I had had the nerve to say, “No, what you mean is, you want a night in which everyone EXCEPT ME gets to not think about communication.”

I think sometimes when non-disabled people insist that we are too obsessed with our disability, what they REALLY mean is, “I wish you would stop reminding me that I have a shared responsibility as a fellow member of society to proactively ensure that we all have an opportunity to be engaged in society.  I wish you would just pretend to not have a disability so I can pretend that I don’t have to do anything to enable you to do the same things the rest of us are doing.”

The luxury of not needing to think about disability in a society that is designed to lock us on the cold outside is a non-disabled privilege.




Things that, as a mentally ill person, I do not find offensive:

  • Using the words “crazy” or “nuts” or “insane” to describe something unexpected or incredible, such as “Mars has two moons?! That’s crazy!” or “Wow, those Westboro Baptists sure believe some crazy shit” or “that party was insane!" or "You really think you can have unlimited chocolate by cutting it a certain way? Are you insane?" or "One Direction’s fans went nuts when they stepped out of that chariot."
  • Using words like “lunatic” or “madman” to describe someone who’s behavior is fanatical, like “Why is that raving lunatic shouting about abortion at this soldier’s funeral?”

Things that, as a mentally ill person, I find incredibly offensive:

  • When you use the words “crazy” or “nuts” or “insane” or “lunatic” or “madman” or any variant as a way of dismissing me or people like me and acting like we’re not full people
  • The portrayal in the media of mentally ill people as not existing beyond their illness on the rare occasion we’re shown as existing at all
  • The portrayal of mentally ill people as dangerous, or more violent than mentally healthy people, or less intelligent and competent to run their own lives than mentally healthy people, and the fact that a lot of writers don’t seem to understand that “mentally ill” is not a motivation. 
  • The fact that every time there’s a mass shooting or a bombing or an attack and they can’t scapegoat a religion or race for the crime, the perpetrator seems to grow a mental illness just in time for the trial, and people think that explains (or in some cases excuses) what they did
  • The fact that when people push for not allowing people who can’t use them responsibly to own weapons, they always seem to start at “mentally ill people” on the list of people who shouldn’t be allowed handle weapons, even though there’s no correlation between mental illness and violence. 
  • When people say “you’d have to be crazy to (commit atrocity)” even though no, sane people commit atrocities all the time. In fact, most violent crime is committed by people with no mental illness. 
  • The fact that I have literally seen otherwise-progressive people suggest that all mentally ill people be registered by the government, and perhaps required to identify themselves, and maybe imprisoned for public safety if the need arises. How would you have us identify ourselves? Should we wear a patch on our clothes, or just present our papers upon request?

But I think what really gets me the most:

  • When mentally healthy people call others out on our behalf when it comes to things on the first list, but remain completely silent about, or even actively complicit in, everything on the second list. 


When people say “you’d have to be crazy to (commit atrocity)” even though no, sane people commit atrocities all the time. In fact, most violent crime is committed by people with no mental illness.

this always sends me straight into a spiral of exasperated despair

One of the great myths of the school system is that we tell people that everyone should learn exactly the same thing and exactly the same way, at roughly exactly the same speed. And that’s just not true. People learn in different ways, at different speeds, at different times. And so hacking your education allows you to learn what, when, how and where you want.

Dale J. Stephens, author of Hacking Your Education and founder of

via NPR

(via curiositycounts)

That standard notion is white and ableist as fuck.

(via bad-dominicana)

True. I guess I learned a few trivial things in my North American school daze but I always learned incomparably more outside of school. And it for me it goes beyond the methods and speed and timing of the teaching. It’s the overarching situation of learning obedience and submission to arbitrary authority, and it’s the structure of the content itself, of blowing up 5% of world history (i.e. white history!) and erasing or whitewashing 95% of humanity’s great story, justifying a backwards world order, whitesplaining genocide and slavery and war and colonialism and corporate-military domination and imperialism and the ongoing shape and tilt of a profoundly unjust global politics, elevating the importance of certain mechanistic skills over the journey to become fully human, elevating the importance of certain intellectual sleights of hand over the quest to cultivate a wise heart. As I see it, in life it’s my job (or you might say, each of our jobs) to design and execute my own curriculum of learning and growth, never to accept the structure of a curriculum which comes from a system which is inarguably hostile to my vision of the world.

(via zuky)

(Source: curiositycounts, via wonderfulslumber)



"mental illness" is a tool for situating violence outside of structural power. as long as this is true violence will always be attributed to mental illness and root causes of violence will by definition not be pathologized. when you say that x structural power should be considered an illness, you are ignoring the ways in which "health" and "illness" are constructed by those in positions of structural power, and excusing institutional violence as an individual phenomenon

that is to say, the archetypal psycho is necessary grease for the wheels of liberal politics

(Source: bufotoxin)

That’s invading her rights as a person to decide whether or not she wants to get it done or not.

Mother wants answers after teenage daughter’s armpits were shaved by teacher

A fourteen year-old girl has her armpits forcibly shaved by a teacher, in front of other students. The teacher and school district defend it because the girl is developmentally disabled and needs to learn “independent living skills” (otherwise known, in this case, as why you must submit to gendered social norms at all times).

And the justification is that the girl would be made fun of if she didn’t do it? Maybe you should change the behavior of the kids that are the bullies, not the kids being bullied. Because even if you forcibly shave her armpits, she’s still noticeably disabled, and that (in her case) can’t be hidden/normalized quite so easily.

The message being sent here - and in so many of these programs - is “You’re being teased because you’re different, so try to be the same!” Rather than seeing the value in human difference and diversity.

(via disabilityhistory)

What oh my god. If this was my kid I would be creating a fucking shitstorm over this.

(via notemily)

(via everythingisacasestudy)




I mean as long as we’re talking about Queer desirability let’s be real as fuck and talk about what this shit actually looks like. To be seen as desirable you must fit the following criteria:

  • Must be white, light skinned POC will due in a pinch but will always get trumped by all mighty whitey
  • Must be Cis, if trans you must be AFAB trans masculine
  • If you’re a cis woman then you must be butch, if you’re a man cis or trans you must be masculine. same with AFAB non-binary people. Trans women/DMAB non-binary folks need not even apply.
  • CANNOT be fat, if fat only slightly chunky/chunky and maybe you’ll get thrown a bone or two at some point.
  • Must be neurotypical and able bodied, no exceptions.

And this is just the shit I can think of off the top of my head.

And I WISH I was exaggerating about all of this but I’ve seen it play out too many times already -_-

I think also in talking about desirability you have to address the strategies that non-desirable people have to create in order to snag a bone. You have to pretend you’re not crazy, you have to pretend you’re butch, you gotta play up your ‘exotic’ features, downplay your accents (unless the accent is desirable.) 

And all this to gain enough social capital in order to get someone who would dismiss you otherwise, to like you.

Can we also discuss how people with that desirability, with that social capital, will use fetisihization to claim equality in terms of desirability and at the same time will cite that fetishization as  ”unnecessary diversity” that is  ”dividing us”.

Not to mention if we was undesirables get someone to like us/pay us heed suddenly we are a detriment and making a bad name for queers or that other person stands to lose social capital because they stooped that low.

Newser: N. Carolina Will Pay $10M to Forced Sterilization Victims





Over a period of 45 years, North Carolina forcibly sterilized 7,600 people it deemed mentally or socially unfit. Now, 39 years since the state’s eugenics program ended in 1974, it will finally make reparations, with lawmakers earmarking $10…





(via everythingisacasestudy)

Astaire (his therapist) said (the shooter) had not been diagnosed with Asperger’s but the family suspected he was on the spectrum, and had been in therapy for years. He said he knew of no other mental illnesses, but (the shooter) truly had no friends, as he said in his videos and writings.

Can you fuckers stop with the ableism now?!?!?!? 

He’d been in therapy for years and never been diagnosed with a single mental illness or condition. 

He was not mentally ill. 

He was a self entitled misogynist. 

That is all. 


I have no friends and I am autistic and mentally ill, and I don’t go fucking killing people. Stop blaming this on mental illness or autism!

(via dysfunctionalqueer)

His family might have thought he was on the spectrum because of all the negative stereotypes of what autism is. Self/peer-diagnosis is valid, but only if for the right reasons…

(via misohead)

(via moo-ahyou)

(trigger warning: pills, suicide) Fuck medication shame.


If a pill can make me not suicidal, I’m going to take it.

I give no fucks about being your stereotypical weak mentally ill person who is dependent on the evil pharmaceutical industry to live. I am far more concerned with being happy about the fact that I can take a pill every morning that makes it possible for me to be alive. Without working meds I can’t go to school. I can’t have a job. I can’t interact with people. I can’t feed myself, I can’t clean up after myself, I can’t take care of myself at all. Without working meds I am so exhausted and in so much pain and so depressed and anxious that I can’t leave my apartment. I can’t leave my room. I can’t get out of bed. 

How dare anyone shame me for using a pill that fixes these problems when no other option has ever worked?

How on earth can anyone try to argue to me that taking a pill every morning that makes me functional is a worse fate than debilitating depression and anxiety? That being on pills for the rest of my life is somehow worse than killing myself at 20 years old?

(Source: dykevibes, via moo-ahyou)

Sure, movements can be healing. But are they? Many, many broke folks, parents and/or disabled folks who have been forced out of movements would say no. What disability justice and healing justice talks about—and asks—is, are they really? Or are they set up in burnout models that destroy folks’s physical and spiritual health? And I think that a big part of what movements that I’m part of do to *make movements* that aren’t shitty, is to center disabled, working-class and poor, parenting, and femme of color genius. Burnout isn’t just about not having a deep enough analysis. It’s about movements that are deeply ableist and inaccessible.
Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, “for badass disability justice, working-class and poor lead models of sustainable hustling for liberation” (via ethiopienne)

(via solaceames)

Mental illness is casually and readily used as a metaphor for evil or bizarre behaviour, it’s treated as the root cause for any kind of social deviance, and it’s feared and hated across society. Numerous people express an unwillingness to date, work with, or socialise around mentally ill people, perhaps fearing that mental illness is contagious or that they’ll be viciously attacked while innocently compiling spreadsheets or dining out with friends.

At the same time that society hates mental illness, though, it’s surprisingly vocal when it comes to the use of psychiatric medications and therapy to manage mental illness. Taking pills makes you ‘weak’ and not able to ‘just handle it,’ while therapy is useless and suspect, something that people are only brainwashed into thinking is useful. People who pay to talk to someone for an hour (or more) a week are clearly, well, you know. Crazy, and the entire mental health profession is obviously raking it in by deceiving all these people with their silly notions of ‘treatment’ and ‘management.’

The disdainful attitude when it comes to managing mental illness is at utter odds with social attitudes about mental illness. If crazy people are so awful, if we’re told that it’s ‘okay to be crazy so long as you act sane in public,’ how are we supposed to be less crazy if we can’t actually get any treatment? This paradoxical attitude is widely in force in society and people don’t seem to realise how absurd it is; if they think that, for example, schizophrenia is a scary and dangerous disease that turns people into monsters, uh, wouldn’t they want people with schizophrenia to be able to access whichever treatments help them manage their mental health condition most effectively?

Mental Illness, Medication, and Social Attitudes – this ain’t livin’ (via brutereason)

(via indigocrayon)


it’s pretty common for people discussing rape culture within feminist discourse to conveniently leave out disabled girls, but this is just a casual reminder that disabled women are far more likely to be sexually assaulted, abused or raped than able-bodied women. on top of that, 50% of deaf girls and 54% of deaf boys have been sexually abused or assaulted. so please stop leaving us out of your discussion about rape culture.

It seems to me that on one page I recognized a portion of an old diary of mine which mysteriously disappeared shortly after my marriage, and, also, scraps of letters which, though considerably edited, sound to me vaguely familiar. In fact, Mr. Fitzgerald (I believe that is how he spells his name) seems to believe that plagiarism begins at home.

Zelda Fitzgerald, in a review of her husband’s book in 1922 (via trishahaddad)

Reminder that F. Scott Fitzgerald stole his wife’s writing, many times, while suppressing her works. See “Save Me the Waltz”, which he forced her to revise so that he could use parts of it in his own book “Tender Is the Night”. And which author do we study in school?

(via rubyvroom)

I didn’t know this.

(via alienswithankhs)

He also encouraged her to have affairs so he could use that for inspiration, and when she wanted to leave him for a man she fell in love with, he locked her in their house and wouldn’t let her leave.

When she wanted to publish “Save me the Waltz,” Fitzgerald wrote in his diary about DELIBERATELY trying to TRIGGER her schizophrenic episodes and making her incapable of fighting that battle.

And Fitzgerald scholars KNOW all this.  They write articles about how it was all okay because in the end, it inspired Fitzgerald to write Great Literature.

(via prozacpark)

knife his corpse

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(via searchingforknowledge)

Fuck I didn’t know this fuck ugh god why fuck ugh

(via lesbianoutwestinvenice)

Yep. All true. Learned about his trifling ass studying creative writing and English lit. at CSU. Didn’t read ONE of her books on high school, yet we’re taught how amazing and talented he was. Makes me sick. xBx

(via wire-hangers-never-again)

Um. I thought it was common knowledge that he was an asshole?

(via nihilistic-void)

I knew he was an asshole, but not that bad….

(via queerlittlemermaid)

(Source:, via duckindolans)