Things no one tells you:
- Having sex doesn’t make you a whore.
- Not having sex doesn’t make you a saint.
- You don’t have to have kids if you don’t want to.
- You are the only person who has rights over your body.
- You are no one to judge others.
- “Femininity” is not anti-feminist.
- Verbal harassment is not flattery.
- If something makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to endure it.
- You don’t owe anything to anyone.
(via catladysoul)
Our femininities are often marginalized and delegitimized. We are often seen as heteronormative, apolitical, less radical, and less queer in a community where being visible and valued depends on being masculine or androgynous.
This femmephobia in queer communities—this devaluation and stigmatization of queer femininity—is a form of misogyny that is rooted in dominant patriarchal culture. It’s a form of sexism that intersects with cissexist, heterosexist, racist, classist, ableist, and sizeist views of femininity, women, and what it means to be queer.
The accusation that femme women “pass as straight” undermines our own self-definitions of our femme identities, our empowered embracing of our femininities, and our blatant disruption of the normative constructs of what it means to be feminine and a woman.
Jeanette Young, “Resisting Femme Invisibility” (via transformfeminism)
(via thelittlekneesofbees)
Reporter: I have a question to Robert and to Scarlett. Firstly to Robert, throughout Iron Man 1 and 2, Tony Stark started off as a very egotistical character but learns how to fight as a team. And so how did you approach this role, bearing in mind that kind of maturity as a human being when it comes to the Tony Stark character, and did you learn anything throughout the three movies that you made?
And to Scarlett, to get into shape for Black Widow did you have anything special to do in terms of the diet, like did you have to eat any specific food, or that sort of thing?
Scarlett: How come you get the really interesting existential question, and I get the like, “rabbit food” question?
The respect given to you if you’re a man in the entertainment business, and the respect given to you if you’re a woman in the entertainment business: all perfectly summed up in one idiotically thought out line of questioning.
(via bonjoursex)
Too often trans and queer women of color survive violence in their homes and on the streets only to have the police, courts and prison-industrial complex come after them for having the audacity to survive in a world where, as Audre Lorde said in her poem “A Litany for Survival,” they “were never meant to survive.
The Trans Women’s Anti-Violence Project: Self-Defense and the Criminalization of Survival (via transgenderexpress)
(via bonjoursex)
When you discuss the wage gap, here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Only white women make $0.77 to a man’s dollar.
- Black women make about $0.68 to a man’s dollar.
- Latina women make about $0.58 to a man’s dollar.
Intersectionality matters.
And men of color make less than white women.
I don’t know how to feel about the fact that Asian women were left out of the original post. I’m pretty sure I’ve read that they actually make a little more than white women do, but even then, I know my mom doesn’t, and I don’t know how much I’m going to make when I’ve graduated college and start my post-graduate career.
Well, these are statistics. Of course, they don’t account for every individual’s unique experiences and wages. Statistically, we (Asian women) are said to make more than white women. But that doesn’t mean that there are those of us who don’t make a lot of money, just like there are individual black and Latina women who make much more than the average income.
It’s hard to think of Asians as a cohesive bloc w/r/t economic statistics. They make up a very small percent of the population and also live in areas that are more expensive so that skews the result. Asians are also kind of over-represented in STEM which means people think all Asians are rich or have access to good jobs.
Asian men make the most out of any group and Asian women are 2nd but you cannot really look at this as a good picture of Asian America since the data sets are so skewed.
Yeah, for sure. It’s just sort of odd reading these statistics that come up on my dashboard and knowing that my family falls outside of certain ones. Thank you both for reminding me of what you did.
Earlier tonight, I was thinking about how part of the reason it can be so hard for first-generation Asian Americans to succeed here, especially if we don’t go into STEM or some other well-paying fields, is because we don’t have connections. The closer I’ve gotten to adulthood, the more often I’ve heard that everything is about connections—-either establishing them, or using the ones you already have. Now I am an adult, and I’m realizing how that lack of connections will affect me in the future.
Since my family immigrated here from China and Hong Kong in the 80s, they don’t have the connections that many American families do. When they arrived, they had to learn English, find jobs they could survive on, and adjust to New York as best as they could. Doing any one of those things by itself is already hard enough, so I can only imagine how difficult it must have been trying to do all three at once. I should mention that out of all my relatives who immigrated, only about half of them actually managed to learn enough English to communicate, and they are my mom, uncle A, aunt P, great-uncle B, and great-aunt P; the other half, my uncle M, aunt H, and maternal grandparents only know a little. Yet, they were able to create lives for themselves in this city, where you don’t necessarily have to know English to survive. For all of that, I’m grateful.
However, the downside is that I don’t have connections like some other people my age do. A lot of places with good jobs are “old boys’ clubs” where you’d need the right connections to get in, right? I’m not sure if I want a career at that type of establishment, but if I did, it would be easier to if my family had been here for generations and thus had the chance to establish the necessary connections.
I don’t know why I’m only just realizing this. I guess I’ve been thinking a lot about privilege, immigration, and how the two are connected, especially with regard to my own life and what it all means for my future. /rambles forever, ahhh.
I am a WoC, and for those of you who don’t know what that means, I am a woman of color. And I don’t need feminism.
I don’t need feminism, because white, cisgendered feminists don’t need me.
They don’t want to hear me, they don’t want to hear the problems with their movement, and how it erases me. How it silences me as a minority. “It’s not always about race”. It’s so easy for you to say that, because for you, it’s never about race. For you, it’s just about equality, even if you’ve got to step on my shoulders, and tell me to shut up to get some for yourself. First wave feminists and the current wave of feminists have something in common: a long history of telling WoC to shut up and wait their turn.
You generalize Men of color as though they’re the only sexist ones, you group them all into this wonderful little bigoted box, where you get to pretend that they’re really the most oppressive group, when that’s so fucking far from the truth. Those of you who choose to travel come back many times with stories of how oppressed and unenlightened the women of other cultures are, regardless of what feminism may or may not mean to those women.
Because why wouldn’t every single woman all over the planet want your exact kind of feminism?You try to tell WoC when they’re allowed to feel offended by things, regardless of the fact that you yourself have never experienced racism, and are not qualified to tell me how to feel. Instead of accepting critique of your feminist idols, you get angry, and tell people “Oh, that’s not the point! So what if she’s erasing entire groups of people, it’s what she’s saying that counts!”
I don’t need feminism, because feminism doesn’t want me.
I need womanism. Because unlike some of you, I’m going to fight for everybody’s rights, whether they be PoC, trans*, bi, lesbian, whatever form of queer. Are you listening? I refuse to erase you. I refuse to silence you.
I’ve been self-hating for too long. I always forget to see it this way…
I’ve been curious about womanism ever since earlier this year, so it’s always good for me to read posts from womanists. I’m a WOC who currently identifies as a feminist, though the mainstream movement has frustrated me enough so that I’ve looked into womanism and considered joining that instead. I’m just not sure how I would fit into that community since womanism was originally about black people, and the few womanists I’ve seen around Tumblr seem to be black as well. There probably are some Asian American womanists out there; I just have to find them to see how their experiences with womanism have been. Maybe some womanists could tell me more about it, since I’m probably being silly to think I might not be welcome in womanism? I’d really appreciate it.
When you discuss the wage gap, here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Only white women make $0.77 to a man’s dollar.
- Black women make about $0.68 to a man’s dollar.
- Latina women make about $0.58 to a man’s dollar.
Intersectionality matters.
And men of color make less than white women.
I don’t know how to feel about the fact that Asian women were left out of the original post. I’m pretty sure I’ve read that, on average, they actually make a little more than white women do, but even then, I know my mom doesn’t, and I don’t know how much I’m going to make when I’ve graduated college and start my post-graduate career.
(via hana-no-hikari)
(via defunctkid)
Under increased anti-choice pressure from the state, Planned Parenthood has suspended all medical abortions at its Wisconsin clinics.
The suspension comes two weeks after Gov. Scott Walker signed a law that levies felony charges at abortion doctors who fail to conform to the state’s newly installed guidelines. The guidelines require a person seeking medical abortions to visit the clinic three different times–in order to prove she is not being coerced–before taking the RU-486 pill.
RU-486, commonly referred to as the “abortion pill,” is usually taken in the first nine weeks of a person’s pregnancy. For many people, it’s the preferred method of terminating a pregnancy because it can be done in the comfort and privacy of their own homes. According to Planned Parenthood Wisconsin, medical abortions account for 25 percent of abortions in the state.
Planned Parenthood Wisconsin made the decision to end medical abortions at its clinics because the law puts doctors at risk, said public policy director Nicole Safar. She called the law “one more piece of very anti-women health legislation” because of its criminalizing intent.
Access to abortion is already extremely limited in Wisconsin, which requires mandatory counseling, a 24-hour waiting period and parental consent for minors. There are only five private abortion clinics in the state, three of which are run by Planned Parenthood.
Anti-abortion advocates, such as the Wisconsin Right to Life, claim this law protects domestic violence victims from being coerced into abortions. But by limiting options and resources for people seeking abortions—especially those from low-income backgrounds—the state of Wisconsin is practicing its own form of reproductive coercion: keeping unwilling people pregnant.
(via cosmopolitan-fascist)
Romance and Sex Questions in an Airport [x]omg
John Green yet again proves what I have been saying for years: he is the most awesome man to ever awesome. Never, ever change John.
he is brilliant and wonderful
Ah, John Green. :’) You wrote some of my favorite books that I read as a teenager. Please don’t turn out to be one of those seemingly good people who says oppressive things, like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.
(via thelittlekneesofbees)
Girlwriteswhat on why feminism is not a movement for equality. (via gatic)
wow i can’t wait to hear what this “new feminist definition of rape” is
(via agniology)
The definition that the National Organisation for Women lobbied the CDC and FBI for. Under this definition, a male in the situation above is not considered to be a victim of rape, while the female is.
This is important because these definitions were used by the CDC to create the latest Crime Victimisation Report, the results of which were widely disseminated by the media. Feminist organisations have directly led to men being painted as the overwhelming aggressors and women as the delicate victims, when in reality had they analysed their statistics in a manner that made sense, a very similar rate of sexual victimisation would be found for both men and women (and a much higher rate of non-sexual victimisation for men).
(via gatic)
Okay, wtf at this definition and the reputation it’s giving feminists. For the record, I know that men can be raped, and that rape culture shames and emasculates men who are victims of sexual assault (including rape). The TW is mine because people, please use trigger warnings if you’re going to talk about sexual assault.
(via daisysnotebook)
So, about those fauxminists. You know the ones. They’re those supposed feminists who are all for gender equality who somehow manage to be either racist, classist, ableist, and/or transphobic, to name just a few oppressive behaviors.
In other words, fake feminists. “Feminists” who want equality only for white, cisgender, middle-class, non-disabled members of the cause.
Maybe I’m too idealistic, but isn’t feminism supposed to include everyone who believes in gender equality? It sounds like a simple, even rhetorical question, but after reading some of the oppressive, hateful, “I’m white/cis/middle-class/non-disabled and I’m right” kind of bullshit from people who are supposed to want gender equality for all women, I don’t know. I didn’t realize this until recently, but I guess I always thought that mainstream feminism is supposed to include everyone and account for factors like race, class, gender, sexual orientation, and dis/ability. This is at least partly because I’m a WOC and I cannot, I will not, separate my race and my gender. I’ll give you a real-life example of why I literally cannot do that:
There’s this auto repair shop in my neighborhood that I avoid because of the men there who like to make certain remarks. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve passed by and received unwelcome comments that often started, “Ni hao,” paired with a nod, a smile, and sometimes a wolf whistle or other disgusting reaction. In case you don’t know, “Ni hao” is how you greet someone in Mandarin Chinese. I wrote in a previous post that I hate this because I don’t speak Mandarin, Mandarin is not the only Chinese dialect, and I’m not a foreigner and should not be treated as one. In addition, hearing “ni hao” as verbal sexual harassment is all the more unwanted because I’m not some exotic China doll men have the right to speak to like that.
So, to the fauxminists who insist that addressing race and racism distracts from the real cause of feminism, this is why I cannot separate race and gender issues. My feminism must include discussions of race and racism because I am a woman of color, because I am a Chinese American feminist and I won’t have feminism any other way. As Flavia Dzodan would say, “MY FEMINISM WILL BE INTERSECTIONAL OR IT WILL BE BULLSHIT!” You would do well to listen to her.
Stop Street Harassment: Holly Kearl (via completelymoribund)
The thing that so many men need to understand is that women do not consider it a compliment when they are being harassed on the street. Women usually feel either embarrassed or terrified or a combination of the two. So stop fucking doing it.
(via sexytypewriter)
it’s so telling that men tend to do this when they’re in a group of other men. and i’ve never had it happen when i’m hanging out with dudes, especially not when i’m with my ginormous dad (most men don’t give a fuck about harassing me if i’m with my mom who is as small as i am). so if it isn’t sexual, or threatening, and you just want to ~make me smile~ then why can you only do it when i’m perceived as vulnerable?
(via hyper—ballad)
I would add that it rarely happens or when I am around men who know that I am dating someone at that time. Many men (certainly not all) are willing to lay off if they perceive that you are “owned” - otherwise, you’re public property, and they’re free to treat you however they like. Any competition that erupts is less to flatter the woman than to establish temporary rights to her, even if they must degrade her to do so.
(via desliz)
that or the nature of the so-called compliments will change if youre w a man. they will go from a respectful “you look beautiful this evening, ma’am” when youre w a dude to some vulgar shit about your pussy, if youre alone. because youre not worthy of respect as just a woman.
(via baddominicana)
So much yes to everything. The only time guys won’t try to approach me is when I’m with a male companion, but even then, I’ve gotten stares and looks that made me uncomfortable. It shouldn’t matter whether I’m alone, with my guy friends, or with my boyfriend; I don’t want your attention, so fuck the hell off and don’t talk to me. I shouldn’t have to carry pepper spray with me at all times and constantly check my surroundings just so I can try to feel safe.
(via bad-dominicana)
