unapologetically-yellow:

A few months back, a couple (white) foreign fellows played “hot or not” about other foreign fellows. I got chucked under “hot.” I wasn’t there when this happened, but when I heard about it, my reaction was “ew, gross, I’m creeped out.”

My two close friends, one of them a white man, at the time told me something along the lines of shove it, you’re flattered and you know it. Because I wanted them to like me and because I still hated myself, I laughed it off. 

I’m an Asian woman. Society says that women like me are playthings for white men. From beer ads to conversation with friends, I constantly hear that my body is a commodity for the enjoyment of others. I’ve been emotionally and sexually abused by so many men, most of them white men, and I will never see any justice for their violence. So excuse me if I’m the crusty cunt who is creeped out when white people, especially white men, especially white men with Asian fetishist tendencies, decide that I’m “hot.”

To insist that I must be flattered by “compliments” is rape culture. Women of Color, in America and around the world, are treated as commodities for white men and are raped by white men at horrific rates, yet never see any justice. Our stories are never told because society tells us that our survival is contingent upon our silence.

The greatest contributor to rape culture (via a-muppet-of-a-melody)

(via petitsirena)

callingoutbigotry:

• A Rolex watch or a fancy car in a bad neighborhood. I am not the basis for a ridiculous victim-blaming metaphor based on theft. I am a person, not an object.
• Your sister or daughter or wife. I exist independently of my relationships with and importance to men. It is not wrong that I was sexually assaulted because I am someone’s daughter. It’s wrong because I am a human being.
• To blame. I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t want it. It doesn’t matter what I wore or if I was intoxicated or if I flirted. I never wanted this. No one ever would.
• A punchline. Rape is not a joke. Rape is not funny. If you think it is funny, it’s probably because you’re a rapist.
• Impure. I am not worthless or dirty or sullied. The person who did this to me is.
• An opportunity to play devil’s advocate. The devil has enough advocates. They’re called 90% of our society, and they’ve already said every single thing your puny, unimaginative brain could possibly think of.
• Going to be silenced. Not by my abuser, and not by you or anyone else.

(via swampkhaleesi)

tranqualizer:

trigger warning for sexual assault, rape culture, rape

this post is being made by a light skinned able bodied southeast asian viet masculine of center queer boi who is a survivor of sexual violence and fetishization who is sometimes read as an asian woman of color in some spaces. 

my hesitation to come to the defense of of women and girls who have been a victim of rape, sexual assault, anti-sex and anti-women health education with “stop slut shaming” is for a lot of reasons

but first i want establish a few things

• i fully and whole heartedly believe in the power and rights of women and femmes to have sex with whomever in whichever way and whenever they want
• i don’t have answers to how we need to message our movements or what tactics we should consistently use
• while my experiences re: sexual and intimate violence were in the days when i identified as girl and woman i want to acknowledge that that’s not how i am identify today and i am mostly not “read” that way (contingent upon how dominant cis community “reads” gender non conforming bodies)

and then i wanna say that

• i don’t always believe that a campaign to “stop slut shaming” is the first message we need to go to when talking about rape culture and sexual violence against women and femmes. language like this can be alienating for a lot of reasons and primarily because for WOC and GNC POC like myself, our entire existences have been centered around the definitions of desire, sex and sexuality as defined and imposed on us by white supremacy. i have spent my entire life navigating the contradictions of being both desexualized and hypersexualized. so my entire existence in conversations about control or lack of control around my body has been often narrowly focused around my presumed sex, sexual identity, sexual desires and attraction.
• when we use “slut shaming” as a blanketed response to how complex rape culture is, we don’t speak to the WOC and GNC POC i know who will never identify as sluts, will never reclaim slut maybe because we are more familiar with words like “ho” or maybe because, again, we’ve spent our entire lives trying to figure out how is that our bodies, as people of color, are appealing to everyone at one point in time yet becomes unappealing - yet still centered in their sexual desires - when we resist sexual assault and speak out about our survivorship. 
• “stop slut shaming” narrows the conversation (for me, at least). when i have heard this as a response to the times i have shared in intimate space that fact that i have survived sexual violence and fetishization which i am still healing from, i cringe. i collapse. my healing feels hindered because i don’t need others to focus on whether or not i have radical politics around fucking and having sex or controlling my body through being intimate (or not with others) because the reality is when i was sexually assaulted, when i was/am fetishized that is not a consensual experience - it is not reflective of my belief that i have every right to have sex and do whatever the fuck i want.
• it is not always a radical act of solidarity when we assume the boundaries and conditions of how sexual assault happened; when we assume that the person/woman/femme involved has the same politics as the ones “stop slut shaming” implies; when we assume that the person/woman/femme involved was all about fucking this person and then suddenly not and it followed a narrative of the dude or person saying “but you’ve done it before, etc, etc, etc.” the radical act of solidarity of listening to the person who is experiencing the shit and saying i hear you, i see you, i am listening and i will not center your experience around your sexual desire because in that moment it was not about your sexual desire (or lack thereof) that someone assaulted you. it was because someone assaulted you and shame on that fucking person.

trigger warning for sexual assault, rape culture, rape

feministinthekitchen:

fandomsandfeminism:

the-underground-hufflepuff:

I always hear feminists complaining about how sexist it is for people to impose that women should be taught not to get raped as opposed to men being taught not to rape. This doesn’t make any sense at all. Humans have a deep set sense of morals that tells them things like murder and rape are wrong. And that’s why it isn’t culturally acceptable to rape someone. This is why if a case for rape can be proven (with some sort of evidence mind you) than the person is undeniably guilty.

But to even attempt teaching men not to rape is silly. It’s stupid. It’s pointless. Should we also teach people not to kill each other? A murderer is going to kill someone whether you tell them to or not.

I realize there are gray areas. But the best way to get rid of these situations is to not put yourself in them. I’m not going to say you have to dress conservatively, not show your boobs, or not go clubbing and get wasted by yourself, or not to walk down dark alleys at night. Just realize the risks your taking. Carry pepper spray or something I don’t care. It’s extremely easier and much more logical for women to prevent themselves from being raped than it is for men to be taught not to rape.

Regardless of whether or not YOU see the logic in it, we know FOR A FACT, that rape awareness and “teach men not to rape” campaigns DO WORK.

SOURCES

    At this point, there is relatively little evaluation research conducted with men’s programs. Yet review of this limited body of work suggests three conclusions that we will critically examine.

(1) Some programs have demonstrated success in changing men’s beliefs and attitudes regarding rape (for reviews, see Bachar & Koss, 2001; Brecklin & Forde, 2001; Breitenbecher, 2000; Flores & Hartlaub, 1998; Gidycz et al., 2002; Morrison et al., 2004). This issue is discussed in greater detail in a later section.

(2) Some programs have also reduced men’s self-reported likelihood to rape (for reviews, see Berkowitz, 2002, 2004; Breitenbecher, 2000; Gidycz et al., 2002). This is an important variable to study because it “”is associated with rape supportive attitudes, sexual arousal in response to rape depictions, aggression toward female confederates in a laboratory situation, and a history of self-reported sexually aggressive behavior”” (Breitenbecher, 2000, p. 28).

(3) There is evidence to suggest that some prevention programs might reduce men’s actual sexual aggression(Foshee et al., 2004; Foubert, Newberry, & Tatum, 2007; Linz, Fuson, & Donnerstein, 1990). Such findings are certainly promising, and this remains one of the most important research directions in this field. However, there are unique issues that must be considered when reviewing this body of research.

FACTS. 

“Humans have a deep set sense of morals that tells them things like murder and rape are wrong.” LOL NO people voluntarily join the army all the time despite knowing that, in many cases, the whole point of their being there is to kill other people. Joining the army is only seen as heroic in our cultural context because we have made it out to be that way and we don’t care that they’re killing people from countries we’re at war with, while if they murdered someone back here it would be seen as terrible. It’s nice to think that human beings are ~inherently moral~ but that just isn’t the case: people learn from their culture what is and isn’t acceptable and usually act accordingly. People (mostly men!) continue to rape because in our society they can usually do so without consequence.

(via inthenameofyeezusipray)

(via clickbreatheclick)

babyslime:

skyliting:

rememberyes:

boldmatter:

jadelyn:

likeadeadchinadoll:

and for those interested, you can find the report HERE

Just in case any dudebros are unclear on what this means: it means that your buddy who totally just had some bitch trying to ruin his life by accusing him of rape…almost certainly actually did rape her.  

Just keep that in mind.

Yeah man, imagine that, bitches don’t be lying.

Can we put this into context? It means that 99.4% of rape allegations are true. 

It means that 99.4% of rape allegations are true.

When you read through and learn about those 0.6% who did make false allegations, there are some seriously important things to note. Firstly :

“Furthermore, the report shows that a significant number of these cases involved young, often vulnerable people. About half of the cases involved people aged 21 years old and under, and some involved people with mental health difficulties. In some cases, the person alleged to have made the false report had undoubtedly been the victim of some kind of offence (sic), even if not the one which he or she had reported.”

And then, when you get into the case studies you find things like a 14 year old girl sleeping with an 18 year old. When discovered, she claimed the sex was non-consensual in fear of her father’s disapproval, but investigation of texts and emails found that to be untrue. THAT SAID, the 18 year old was found to have a history of pursuing and seducing many very young girls, and once he was counseled he expressed not only regret over his actions, but the knowledge that he was purposefully picking vulnerable girls who could be easily manipulated into consent.

Another case was a married couple, where the wife claimed rape and domestic violence, so the husband was arrested and held. After some contact between the two while he was incarcerated, she went back to him and wanted the charges dropped. It’s okay because she still loves him. When the DA decided to keep going, she suddenly said that she made it up and he never raped her at all.
Further counseling revealed that the allegations were true, but she didn’t want to be without him so she lied about the allegations being false.
I don’t know about you, but this kind of sounds like classic domestic violence, and the kind of patterns you get into after living with an abuser.

The point I’m trying to make is that even though there are 0.6% false claims… when you break them down you find that there’s generally a lot of skeevy shit going on, and like the above quote, many of the alleged rape victims are actual victims of other abuses. For some of them, I’m guessing that an allegation of rape was the only way to bring enough attention to their abuse to finally get protection by law enforcement, or enough care from family to be freed from their abusive situations and moved somewhere safe. Some are mentally ill and have been taken advantage of, or are victims of statutory rape because they are not even remotely mature enough to truly consent to a sexual relationship with an adult.
These cases aren’t just as simple as, “some bitch regretted sex and cried rape”.

(via mry-j)

blowyourownjob:

1.
when it’s dark
and late
and i’m walking alone
my body is 
whirring in time with my frantic heartbeat
and in my mind
the news broadcaster is telling me that
one in three women will be a
victim 
of sexual assault in their lifetime -
well, i went out with two other girls tonight
so which one does that make me?

2.
arms crossed
head down
walk fast
no streetlights?
cross the street
keys between fingers
cell phone in hand
thinking,
it’s so hard to move quickly
in such a goddamn tight dress. 

3.
numbers, figures, stories - 
they roll off your tongue in conversation 
and you sometimes forget that 
each 
statistic-victim-survivor-horrorstory
was
brutally
brutally
brutally
created
a third of women
will have something fucked from inside them,
adam cracking eve’s chest to pluck an excess rib for himself
taken just because he could 
just to store away and rub and polish

4.
this feeling is the kind of unclean 
that no amount of showers can fix. 

5.
and then,
the questions -
why were you walking alone?
why didn’t you catch a cab?
why were you dressed the way you were dressed?
why didn’t you scream?
why didn’t you run?
why didn’t you fight?
and as you feel your tongue recoil with the hot blast of shame, you think -
why don’t you ask 
them 
why they burnt a part of me to the ground 
and spat on the ashes?

6.
you don’t have to tell us
that not all men are 
“like that” -
we have fathers, brothers, male lovers too
but statistically,
more of you are 
“like that”
than you care to admit
and sometimes, we do not know if we are stepping into
dante’s inferno
or
grandmother’s cottage
until we are well and truly through the door

7.
if you can try and feel me up 
in a crowded train at peak hour
i shudder to think what you would do
had you come across me walking home alone

8.
if you claim that you are “neutral”
when it comes to rape culture -
that men shouldn’t rape
but women shouldn’t dress like sluts
and yes, rape is wrong, but what if it’s a misunderstanding -
then you are as far away from neutral
as i want to be from you
neutrality is something
that you can feel 
when someone asks,
“do you like glee?”
or
“would you like some more cake?”
it is not, however
an appropriate response
- a humane response -
to the questions of
“do you think people ever ask to be raped?”
and
“if they didn’t say no, that means it’s ok, right?”
your silence
your “neutrality”
is as hurtful as the hands 
that so many women have been 
invaded by
held down by
pushed up a fence, fingers in mouth, torn apart by

9.
no, i’m not interested in giving you my number.
i hope you understand. 

(Source: burrito-princess, via sarabande)

riseofthecommonwoodpile:

adultmom:

crazypersonofcats:

rowanazra:

if you use okcupid there’s a new browser extension to keep the creeps away!

it’s amazing and you should download it

you should really reblog and share this it could actually save lives

-starts singing James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful”-

:] here friends

YO this is really good.

(via feministinthekitchen)

hidden-agender:

And before people are like “lololol North Dakota who lives there anyway?”

You know what particular population North Dakota is higher than most in?

Native Americans.

And Native women have astronomical rates of violence and rape against them.

So basically people who dismiss North Dakota don’t give a fuck about these women.

(Source: think-progress, via decolonizeyourmind)

indigocrayon:

TRIGGER WARNING: rape, misogyny, rape culture, ableism

k7letal3ain:

Mentally challenged girl, 15, ‘gang raped under her desk during class as teacher did nothing

beklemishiva:

incitare:

palestinianliberator:

thefreelioness:

Via Daily Mail:

A mentally challenged 15-year-old New York girl endured a brutal gang rape as she was trapped beneath her desk by two boys with her teacher only feet away, alleges a lawsuit filed Friday.

The special needs student, identified only by the initials K.J., was allegedly sexually assaulted for 10 minutes as another student  ‘hit her on the head whenever she tried to escape,’ during a science class at Martin De Porres Academy in Elmont, N.Y.

The girl’s mother, who filed the suit, alleged that the teacher ignored the assault even as one student danced on the desk while another attempted to sodomize K.J.

Though the girl told a school social worker the next day, school officials failed to report the crime. 

K.J. has an IQ of 60 and was sent to De Porres by city. 

She was the only girl in her class of 13 boys. 

Her alleged attackers all had known ‘violent propensities’ and are residents of Casa De La Salle, a home for juvenile delinquents.

K.J.’s mother said she was powerless to get her daughter transferred immediately, and as a result the girl was bullied for months. 

In December, school officials put her in a room with one of the boys who had been sexually harassing her and admonished them to ‘discuss their issues.’

K.J. left that classroom with a gash over her right eye.

It’s hard to even believe this is true, it’s so awful.  I have nothing else to say, other than my heart goes out to those who have little choice but to send their children to the monster of public education.

Once again, I am at a complete loss for words.

WHAT I am so disgusted and done with the world

What the FUCK is wrong with people

but we are just going to keep talking about how OMG IST’S SO DANGEROUS FOR WOMEN IN THE MIDDLE EAST AND INDIA AMERICA IS SO PERF WOMEN U R LUCKY HERE

This is horrible

pilgrim—soul

Schrödinger’s rapist explained in three simple sentences.

See that Nice Guys™? You officially have no reason not to be decent. The truth speaks for itself and now you know it too.

“But not all men-“
Stop.
“But I’m not like-“
Goodbye.

(via manhatingman)

(via indigocrayon)

gyzym:

First, a story. 

So, my first semester of my freshman year of college, I took this Intro to Women’s Studies class. The class met for five hours a week, one two hour session and one three hour session, and the breakdown of students was what I eventually discovered to be the typical sampling in any Women’s Studies class with no pre-recs at my mid-sized, southern Ohio state school. There were a number of girls who would become, or were already part of, the feminist advocacy groups on campus; there were a number of girls who would prove themselves to be opposed to feminism in both concept and practice, one of whom I distinctly recall giving a presentation on the merits of the “Mrs. Degree,” while my professor’s eye twitched in muted horror; there were a handful of girls and at least one guy I’d come to know later through assorted campus queer groups; and there were, of course, the three to six dudebros, self-admittedly there to “meet chicks,” all but one or two of whom would drop the class after the first midterm. At eighteen, I was myself a feminist in name but not in practice—I believed in the idea behind feminism (which is, for the record, that people should be on equal footing regardless of gender, not that we should CRUSH ALL MEN BENEATH THE VICIOUS HEELS OF OUR DOC MARTENS GLORY HALLELUJAH), but I didn’t actually know anything about it. I could not identify the waves of feminism. Intersectionality and how the movement is crap at it were not things of which I was aware. Never had I ever encountered the writings of bell hooks. In a lucky break, you do not need to know about the waves of feminism, or know what intersectionality is, or have read bell hooks to read this essay! (But you should read bell hooks. Everyone should read bell hooks. bell hooks is FUCKING AWESOME.) 

The first couple of weeks of this class were about what you’d expect. The professor was fun and engaging, but she was not exactly pulling out the eye-opening stops on our wide-eyed freshman asses. There were handouts. There were selections of the textbook for reading. There was a very depressing class about domestic violence, abuse, and rape that was the typical rattling off of terms and horrific statistics that everyone winced at, but that nobody really internalized. The dudebros snickered in the back corner, grouped together like they would be infested by cooties if they spread out, occasionally chiming in with helpful comments like, “Dude, the lady on the back of this book is smoking,” and getting turned down by each girl in the class, on whom they were hitting in what I can only assume was a pre-determined descending order of hotness. The queer kids, myself included, huddled in the other corner making pithy comments. The up-and-coming active feminists glared at the bros, who leered back, and the Mrs. Degree-friendly crowd mostly texted under their desks and made it very clear that they were only there for humanities credit. Again, it was a fairly typical southern Ohio state school class full of fairly typical southern Ohio state school freshmen. Nobody was super engaged, is what I am saying here. Nobody, myself included, was really eating it up with a spoon. 

And then one day, my professor opened the class with, “So, who here has seen Beauty and the Beast?” 

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Chuck Wendig (via vickiexz)

#some real talk

(via austinimus)

(via decolonizeyourmind)