Last year, this incident occurred, we’ve recently heard of Alec Baldwin being stalked by a woman, and most people are familiar with Rebecca Schaeffer’s murder by a stalker-fan, or Paula Abdul’s stalker committing suicide.
Last week, Will Smith was physically accosted by a journalist while promoting MiBIII, and he pushed the reporter away and objected vehemently to the fact that the reporter tried to kiss him on the mouth.
Some people are painting this as an incident of violent homophobia. They’re full of it.
The reporter (who allegedly does this as part of his schtick with people he interviews) committed sexual assault.
Yes, you heard me correctly. If you touch someone without their permission, as Wil Wheaton experienced last year, that’s assault. If you touch someone in a sexual manner without their permission, that’s sexual assault. It could be misdemeanor level, but it is still assault.
Celebrity is possibly the closest analogue that blurs the lines of race and gender, and approximates the level of entitlement society feels about women’s choices, bodies, and sexuality, all the time. The invasive glare of the spotlight and the way people demand access to those who are famous, is comparable to the objectification women are subjected to on a daily basis.
A few years back, Adrian Brody won the Oscar for The Pianist. Before he made his speech, he sexually assaulted Halle Berry, who was present the award, by grabbing her and aggressively kissing her. I do not think this was intentional, but I objectively speaking: it’s what happened. Google it and watch the video. Look at HER face, listen to what he said directly after. There is a further entitlement when it comes to race. So that incident was brushed off, (and no, I don’t think Brody is necessarily a horrible person, just displaying behavior symptomatic of our cultural problems) and when the same type of thing happens to Will Smith, he’s made out to be the villain.
If Denzel Washington did that to, say… Julia Roberts, or if Zachary Quinto did it to Bruce Willis… can you imagine the way all hell would break loose?
But because these two particular incidents were against actors of color, they are not being described as what they are: assault.
If someone grabbed someone on the street and kissed them, no preamble, we would clearly understand the events as assault, but when you bring fame into it, there is a sense of entitlement. Bring race and gender into it for extra helpings of cultural entitlement, and when someone reacts in a perfectly normal way, i.e., objecting loudly, calling out the person on their behavior, and physically moving them perpetrator out of their physical space, well: Will Smith is suddenly a violent homophobe.
Nobody has the right to touch another person without their permission, kiss another person without their permission (implicit or explicit) have sex with them without their permission, or to invade their privacy.
We have to stop acting like anyone’s body is public property, regardless of gender, race, orientation, color, or fame.
We are entitled to nothing from another person, except what they choose to give. Just because someone is gracious enough not to press charges, doesn’t mean an assault didn’t happen.
Here endeth the lesson.
CW for hateful attitudes toward fat and “ugly” women and people’s vaginas.
A short documentary on “love-shy” men. Love-Shy men believe they are afflicted with a condition that prevents them from interacting with women. They ultimately fail to have relationships with women, and often die virgins. “Involuntary Celibates” are men who approach women all the time, but are always rejected. These men congregate on an online forum called Love-Shy.com. In the film, they meet up “IRL” - in real life along with the female filmmaker and “pretty boy” sound guy.
- “I’ve been rejected by over 1000 women in real life, 2000 online and I aim for the ugliest, most obese women I can find and I still can’t get anyone”
- >that “pickup artist” implying he can get women, god he’s a fuckwit
- All of those terrible excuses like “I don’t like getting with random women I meet at clubs”, “I could have but I didn’t”
- “women have it easy”
- that major burn when the neckbeard collective call the “pretty boy” sound guy(who actually gets women) out for having “feminist views” and he replies with “Yeah I agree that women are people” and the butthurt that follows
And that’s only the first half I’m going to explode I hate these kinds of people
Jesus Christ is this a joke
A round of applause for the woman who made this and showed just how fucking self-deluded and sexist these men are just because they’re not getting fucked. Amazing.
I like how the dude who’s like “the only reason I’m Incel is because of my looks, period” is the same one who said that the idea that women are people is bullshit. C’mon son.
“women just don’t want to fuck me, I don’t get it, it’s not like they have real feelings, those bitches”
Totally just bonded with my younger brother over this documentary. And that’s really something.
The guy who angrily says “I haven’t kissed a girl. I haven’t even gotten anything” reeeaaaaally sounds like he has a bit of an entitlement complex that needs to be deconstructed. Being alone sucks but no individual person has wronged you. He could look like *insert attractive man here #asexualproblems* and still be completely undesirable because of his personality.
Stay far, FAR away from men like this (especially the “incel” and pick-up artist guys). They’re not just incapable of having romantic relationships but moreover NORMAL, everyday person-interacting-with-other-person relationships. Their sense of self-entitlement and egocentrism is truly astounding.
Jenny Schecter (via slutevah)
I was literally JUST talking about this.
Reading all of the men’s rights movement/activist shit I’ve read today, this quotation is so relevant right now.
Also relevant to works of fiction with women in refrigerators, getting hurt and killed so that men can evolve as people, just what the fuck
(TW: misogyny, porn, rape culture, violence against women.)
I’ve noticed that in Anita Sarkeesian’s video, the women who get killed and left in their own blood, the poses and how the blood is depicted and where they get hit, that’s eerily similar to porn videos where cum is left on the women’s body and this is creeping me out
In my opinion, the two are definitely related and have a same common denominator. Men get off at seeing women’s bodies grotesquely dehumanized, degraded and literally ruined. I want to say it’s a fetish, but it goes deeper than that. Ruining women’s bodies evokes a power trip when men see it, and (what I believe) reaffirms the positioning of male dominance through the literal degradation of women in the context of sex.
Hence why some men even fetishize rape and sexual violence. I want to say the visualization of women being weak/helpless objects gives them a shallow sense of power translated into sexual arousal and the same power trip is evoked with these tropes in Anita’s video.
It’s no accident, either.
Art historical iconography pervasively conflates women’s bodies with “nature” and “the wild,” while conflating male figures with conquest and society. Literally centuries of not-so-subliminal visual programming at the hand of societies where men held a stranglehold on image-making has paved the way for the male gaze to legitimize itself as an indulgent power fantasy in our media, and most especially in video games, where the point of power is in the controller.
It’s really gross, it’s literally nothing new, and the fact that it so stubbornly persists is a testament to how powerful and violent patriarchy really is.
Gavin De Becker (via dandyions)
I have noticed every time, EVERY TIME, I state a strong opinion about something on Facebook - a bunch of men will come forward to try to talk me out of it or convince me of something else. Every time. Only the men do this.
Some men really don’t like to be disagreed with by women. And when it comes to consent in sex-positivism, it is a tool for negotiation.
See also, when a woman states that she is strongly opposed to MRA (or, you know, insert whatever ideology or viewpoint) because it is anti-woman, and men try to negotiate her boundaries with her.
Oh my god THIS. Recently I made a Facebook status telling rape apologist MRAs to unfriend me, two cis men privately messaged me, after I unfriended them no less, to try to convince me I was wrong.
99% of men are just disgusting, and it makes me sad and angry.
Wow I’ve never really heard it put this way before but it’s so fucking true.
Björk, on sexism in the electronic music genre (via radioheadofficial)
FUCKING DIPLO MAN
Jay Smooth, Ill Doctrine (via nextyearsgirl)
I firmly believe a vast majority of men hate women. I was just thinking about this today. They won’t admit to it, like this quotation suggestions, but in their opinions and actions it becomes clear they truly hate women.
“No, I LOVE women!” they protest.
Yes, you love looking at women. You love fucking women. You love pushing their buttons and objectifying them and letting them do things for you. You love judging them and masturbating to them and having them on your arm on a night out.
But you do not actually have any respect for women. You view them as inferior, you don’t question this.
I explained this to someone I had dated and of course he wouldn’t hear a word of it.
YAS YAS YAS THE BOLDED>
I said this to a guy the other night, I’m like most men hate women or don’t like women. He’s like how so?
I’m like if they liked women they wouldn’t treat them like shit. I said men like other men bc they are constantly seeking approval from them using women as props to that. He said he understood, I was surprised.
as most grad students of color know, Kaya Williams is not alone in feeling this way. this is a persistent problem on university campuses nationwide.
at Washington State University, for example, where a Native faculty member was recently brutally beaten within an inch of his life and three Asian undergraduate women were sexually harassed in racially targeted violence in the same weekend, the university has responded poorly at best; they never issued an emergency alert to students in the wake of the attacks, it took several days for administration to even acknowledge the events, and the only concrete thing they’ve promised is yet another inquiry & commission on the matter. these actions obviously don’t make a dent in patterns of violence on campus, considering the same response was given a few years ago when a Black student had his teeth kicked in, a trans student was severely beaten, & neo-Nazi propaganda was posted all over campus—no changes in campus climate have occurred. the university’s disappointing response to this violence isn’t all that surprising when you remember that they have terrible enrollment and retention rates for underrepresented students of color, an even worse rate of recruitment of faculty of color, no substantive requirements for curricula that addresses issues of race, and have recently consolidated their Women Studies, Queer Studies, & Ethnic Studies programs into one “minority studies” department (which is headed by a cis-hetero white male). moreover, there is a serious problem with sexual harassment and assault on campus, that’s occurring even at the faculty level.
is it any surprise so many students of color drop out, go on extended leave, and/or take way longer to earn their degrees? these universities are unsafe on every level, and things need to change.
man, I am honestly so exhausted with this stuff at uchicago and I’m only a damn second year undergrad. I’m honestly at the point where I’m no longer really interested in being a hugely active part of trying to fix anything here, I’m just trying to survive.
This line: “And as much as I would love to serve on an Advisory Council on Diversity with several highly paid staffers, most of the work I do here is already unpaid and I quite literally can’t afford to give you more time.” GOD YES. I have had at least four offers in the past two weeks of university people asking me to come be on some diversity council or help formulate a statement or whatever. Last year I would have been so down for that, but now I’m just tired. It shouldn’t be the job of the students to fix this crap, I’m a little busy trying to eke out an education among the substantial amount of crap I take at this university.
Oppression is cooking being “women’s work,” while the overwhelming majority of top restaurant chefs being male.
Oppression is fashion being a “silly girl thing,” while the top earning designers and CEOs in fashion being male.
Oppression is reducing women to consumers profiting a male system, even in fields that we supposedly dominate.
AMEN! I talk about this in women studies class all the time
i swear you cant even be regular ol friendly with men without them immediately assuming you want their dick.
god forbid you just say hello with no pretensions. in man world this isnt possible.
soon as a motherfucker start wavin goodbye at you every day, you know its a matter of time before he goes in for the kill.
talk to em at work or even look in their general direction? they act like you wanna fuck everybody and sabotage you for being an imaginary whore. act cold, and they gripe about how youre a dyke, and sabotage you coz your life dont revolve around them.
thats why i dont talk to yall.
and those are the ones who rage about friend zones and “but we talked and did things like friends! she OWES me pussy now!” like ok, do your cisman friends owe you their asshole now that you got all chummy?
they cannot fathom women can be nice to them and accept their nice gestures, without wanting to take it any further.
[Photos: six female cosplayers and one male cosplayer holding up various anti-harassment messages.]
Here is just a sample of some of my recent photo project, CONsent, which you can read about here.
Please read and spread the word around. I got to work with some great cosplayers, photographers and fans and I really hope to continue this project if it gains enough support.
Thank you for looking!
I just want to say that as a cosplayer at cons, this is a real issue. The amount of things that get said (and mostly REQUESTED) to us is ridiculous. This deserves a signal boost.
On Facebook a couple days ago BelleChere posted basically asking people to not proposition her. Throughout the comments she noted she was married and neither one of them appreciated creepy comments made toward her. A number of people proceeded to argue with her saying that because she dressed up, it was okay.
I know a ton of people who have dealt with harassment at cons and they feel like they can’t say anything because it’s a convention. WRONG. You deserve to feel safe no matter where you are. Dressing up is not giving someone permission to say something to you or do anything to you.
This is a great project and it gets a boost from me.
The Sociological Cinema (via trimichaelceratops)
And sometimes not even that will stop them.
^^^ There are times where it hasn’t. Even to the point where they’ll follow me wherever I’m going still trying to convince me to go out/have sex with them. And even being with a male friend that claims me as “his”—these dudebros only understand caveman—doesn’t stop them. They’ll just be like, “Nah. Are you sure you wanna stick with him? I’d be a better boyfriend/lover.” Yes! Yes I do want to stay with my friend! At this point you are a potential threat to my existence and I need to be far away from you.
What part of no don’t you fools get?
“At this point you are a potential threat to my existence and I need to be far away from you.”
^^^^^^^^^ this ^^^^^^^^^^
In my experience, guys don’t care if I have a boyfriend or not because their persistence (read: male entitlement) is just that bad.
For The Men Who Still Don’t Get It, Carol Diehl (via oitheresawargoingonhere)
Realist shit you’ll ever read.